Short and bitter.

Above is how I feel today. Stupid banks.

Below is what I looked at to make me happier. I need to find a way to do this show (Complete Works of William Shakespeare Abridged) again.

Stimulate THIS!

Okay. First off, I am not a great political mind. I am going to just type this like the regular Joe (Plumber Joe perhaps?) that I am.

I was driving into work today, down 35W South, and I noticed this billboard with headlines scrolling across it. The one that I was able to catch said, "Bush not opposed to the idea of a second stimulus package". I am assuming this means a stimulus package like the one that went directly to us folks and not the stock market. Here's the deal: Why didn't we just take the 700 billion dollars used for the stock bailout (which did nothing) and distribute it among the people of the United States? This isn't my original thought, I have to admit, someone sent this in an email to me awhile back as kind a 'what the crap' joke but somewhat serious email. Right now, I am agreeing with them. Yes, there would be some huge idiots that would misuse this money, but a really think a lot of people would use it to even out their debt if not resolve it, and, if that is the case, perhaps the government could not give this to people directly, but instead to the companies that are owed money by these people. If you don't owe anyone, congratulations! You get $100,000 from the government. Then what do you think those people would do with that? Spend it. Invest in a stock market or some sort of savings account or CD that will earn them money. What would happen to the stock market? It would go up...for a bit...because of this. People would be able to breathe a bit easier (I know I would love it) and be more likely to spend some money on something they may not need. How much would this ACTUALLY help? I can't say. I just know it makes a LOT more sense to give it to the people you are trying to help, ESPECIALLY if you are just going to turn around and approve ANOTHER economic stimulus package.

I don't know. I guess there are probably reasons to do this they way they did, but they are not very good reasons, from what I have seen and read. Obviously it didn't work real well and some companies took the money and went on vacation (see The Patron Saint of Awesomeness blog on the left for a brief look at this). When it boils down to it...I just want the government to give me money to open a store, go back to college, write a book, or any other of the thousands of things that crazy guy with the question mark jacket tells me I can get money to do.

Thanks for reading and have a nice day.

t-jayers

Calvin and Jobs

I really, really miss Calvin and Hobbes in the funny pages. I think that it was possibly the funniest comic strip ever made. Most people I know could relate, in some way, to that little guy and his imagined adventures. The content was great and the art was just fantastic. Some of my favorite. The expressions that were drawn were just classic.

Now. No more Calvin and Hobbes in the newspaper. Yes, they have some books with collected works in them (have you seen the GIANT collection?! Awesome.) and they are good. However, I keep seeing Calvin pop all OVER the place. And he is peeing on things. Chevy symbols, Ford logos, numbers 24 to 3, crosses, fishes, Osama Bin Laden....I mean, the list is pretty much endless. Which is why I hope that Bill Watterson, the creator and illustrator of Calvin and Hobbes, signed an aMAZing deal for the use of that character. I hope that for every drop of pee that cascades onto a digit, logo, or symbol Mr. Watterson gets a big, fat check. And when did this all start? How many years ago did we start seeing Calvin urinating on the back of cars and trucks (mostly trucks, let's be honest)? Because, if Watterson just got all his money up front...he didn't get enough. Calvin is apparently not going to stop peeing anytime soon, so Watterson should see something of that pee.

Happy Columbus Day!

So I am a day late. What can I say? I'm also a dollar short, so there you go...at least I complete all my idioms.

Yesterday we took a moment to celebrate a huge mistake. In fact, it may be the most celebrated mistake of all times.

We all make mistakes, but not often do we get any good feedback from them let alone a frick'n holiday or recognized day for them. Let's break this down.

Chris Columbus sails out to get to India. He sails and sails and sails and sails until...BOOM...he lands someplace. Mistake #1. Then, he says, "Hey, look at these Indians" and it sticks for all time. Mistake #2. Then, as if landing in the wrong place, assuming you are in the right place, and calling the folks there whatever you like...they decide to do some raping and some pillaging. Sure, why the heck not. Throw in a little disease and slavery and you Mistakes #3, #4, and #5...probably a handful of other mistakes that I am leaving out or forgetting about, but here is the point: C.C. is celebrated for making not one but something like TEN huge mistakes.

So I sometimes wonder, "Does it really matter if I type a 5 instead of a 9? If I turn left instead of right, so what? If I make the mistake of not remembering something, what's the big deal? Shouldn't these SMALL mistakes be overlooked or even celebrated?"

Apparently not. I am still punished in some way or the other.

I hate Christopher Columbus.

The System is down.

For the last couple days at work, I have been sitting here not doing anything. On Monday the fax machine was down, and at a job where I am entering orders from the fax machine...this leaves me with literally nothing to do.

Q: Why would I still have to be there all day?
A: I have no idea at all.

Tuesday, the fax machine was working but the system we use to put orders in...was down. All day.

Q: Why would I still have to be there all day?
A: I have no idea at all.

Are you starting to notice a trend? This company has officially wasted thousands of dollars in the last two days. It was so bad yesterday because even the Internet wasn't fully working, so I couldn't do much of anything to waste the time. It finally got to the point at which I just started reading a comic book. *sigh* I miss working at a comic shop so much. Do some work, do some cleaning, organize some comics and stuff, sell some stuff, talk comics with people, then read some comics. *sigh again* Beautiful.

There are some talks (with my former comic book store boss) of starting a comic shop here in the cities. It would be tough, but in the neighborhood I live in there isn't anything it around. It would be nice to have a nice little shop and it would be much better than working here.

Here's to dreaming about that.

-tj

Too bored to be bored

So. I enter orders that come into this company via fax. Today our fax machine was down...all day, so when I say I didn't do anything today...I really mean that. Why did I have to stay here all day? The world will never know. How stupid was today? Stupid enough for me to be SO bored that I am not taking time to write anything here until the END of the day. Beyond boring. So bored that I was too tired by being bored to even do anything. Does that make sense or has the boredom made me drunk?

It was so boring that the guy you normally talks constantly behind me, didn't say much. As evidence, here is a log I kept on Friday of what happened behind me.

11:31
Him: Do you get emails from Donna Smith?
Me: Yes
Him: She puts smiley faces on them.
Me: ...
Him: Like those...what are they?...emoticons?
11:32
All those years I wasn't working here I didn't know what I was missing.
11:34
I think the jalapeno is in the sauce.
11:34:30
It's got some kick to it.
11:39
Oh man! *mumble, mumble, mumble*
11:44
You could go with the old no arms no legs joke...call her Ilene.
11:59
I'm gonna be bacheloring tonight.
11:59:10
Egg drop soup. I'll have that tonight. Helps fight a cold.
11:59:40
Gotta go talk to Julie. Credit card order...has...*mumble, mumble*...credit card order...*mumble*
12:04
Pepperidge Farms. They make good cookies.
12:06
(He talk to a co-worker about Wayne's Pizza. He retold the entire story he told her, then told the story of when he told her. Too much was said for me to write down)
12:09
That A&W root beer hit the spot. They make the best root beer.
12:10
Don't go home. Go to the park...It's a little cool out there.
12:12
I think I will call this lady.
12:18
Put roller skates on her.
12:18:20
I could go home and get my roller blades and we could push her around.
12:48
I should have talked my girlfriend into waiting one week for that Duluth trip.
1:10
Hey Todd. What percentage of people dress up here for Halloween?
1:12
(As I am clearly up to walk to get prints) I had the weird idea of being a post-op transsexual.
1:13
I had friend in college and he dressed up like Betelgeuse and he took all the clothes out of dad's closet. (pause. pause.) It was cool.
1:15
So Todd....you said you won trophy? (paaaaaauuuussssse) Can I see it? (wanders into my cube)

LUNCH

So yeah...there is an idea of how crazy this dude is.

Cheers.

Sooo funny...

Well, nothing in THIS post will be funny...

However, you can expect some funny from a new improv troupe that a few of my friends and I have started called Delusions of Grandeur. These people are so funny that I can't stop laughing during the rehearsals. Oh well, it is just for plain 'ol fun. We have gigs the first Friday of every month starting...TONIGHT! 7pm. Less than 2.5 hours from now at a coffeehouse. Awesome.

This is another quick post, sadly, because it has been like actual work here today at the office. Pretty nifty how that happens once in awhile.

I still hate it.

_t_o_d_d

Ugh

Not much to write today because I am not feeling well. More tomorrow though as I am sure I am just over-tired today.

Sorry, but check back tomorrow.

~t

Return of the Jedi

If you have read the blog from the beginning, then you know that I have been playing Star Wars: Force Unleashed on Xbox 360. If you haven't been reading since the beginning, well, now you know. (perhaps you should take a look back at the things you have missed in the past...perhaps not...it's really up to you)

The reason I bring this up again is because it has rekindled my Star Wars love. Yeah, I love Star Wars. I have had the pleasure of being in two productions of this fantastic play called Hamluke which is Star Wars and Hamlet put together. It is just RIGHT up my alley, so it has worked out really well for me. Like I said, I have had the pleasure of being in two of the three productions of this show and it is a blasty-blast...hopefully the next time we do it will be at a Star Wars convention!

Anyway, the point being, there are things that once in awhile awake my inner Jedi. Hamluke is one of those things and now Star Wars: Force Unleashed is another. As a younger person I would spend large chunks of time with my best friend playing Star Wars customizable card games and listening to the soundtracks from all the original movies over and over and over again. Heck, I would play the game by myself I liked it so much. I have always been a fan of Star Wars, but I seem to go from liking it a lot to LOVING it. Right now, I am loving it.

In honor of this spring of Jedi love, I will try to make a list of things a Jedi should NOT use his powers for. A friend and I have talked a little about this, so I hope I can remember some of them that we came up with.

Things a Jedi should NOT do with the Force:

1. Flying. The Force can be used to improve the distance of your jumps, but should not allow you to levitate at any time. One addition: Darth Vader should never jump OR fly.
2. Make the dead your little puppet. You should never use the Force to move a dead body around in order to scare someone or make them laugh (or whatever else you can come up with in that crazy head of yours). The dead should not move. One stipulation: if you are being attacked by zombies go ahead and throw those rotting corpses against a wall or pop their heads off.
3. Use your mind powers to 'romance' a person. I think this one is pretty self-explanatory.
4. Household chores. Don't be lazy. Plus it would look super lame if you were levitating the poop out of the cat box or spraying that cleaning solution on the window.
5. Eating. Pick up that cheeseburger with your hands, not the force. One stipulation: if a werewolf is attacking you, you can pick up that real silverware (you know? that stuff you got from your mother-in-law as a wedding present?) with the Force and throw it.
6. Playing a musical instrument. Trust me, you will look SOOO much more awesome just playing that accordion.

That's all I have for now. If you have any to add, leave a comment. I would love to hear them.

Later. Thanks for reading.

PS The trees look pretty outside.