Dear Just Born Inc,
I have been noticing for a bit now that your company, Just Born, has started to infiltrate a childhood favorite candy of mine. Mike and Ike candies. I can't help but notice that things have been changing with the classic candies. For as long as I can remember these delicious candies were packaged in boxes. Now they come in plastic bags? Does this make sense? Since when is plastic the NEW safe-for-the-environment material? Plus, it is SO much cooler to get a BOX of candies than to get a BAG of candies. Also, what is the deal with, like, four hundred different kinds of Mike and Ike candies? Mike and Ike were in a green box and they were pink, red, orange, green, and yellow. Of course, we had the option of enjoying Jolly Joes which were all purple ones, but now it is like a frick'n carnival of flavors and colors. Mike and Ike candies are ONLY to be in a green box and ONLY to be the previously mentioned colors.
I would like to think that after your company brought the planet the devil of sweet treats that you would learn to NOT mess these things up. Yes, I am talking about the one, the only...Peeps. Peeps are horrid. Peeps are the devil. However, you somehow managed to make them worse. Peeps started out as just an Easter item. Coming in the shape of birds, either pink or yellow. Now, suddenly, we are seeing bunnies come hopping down the aisles of our local stores. But did you stop there? Oh no. You had to bring these sugar coated sugar puffs to other holidays. Sugary trees grew all around stores during the Christmas season (which, by the way comes earlier and earlier every year MUCH to my disdain), puffy four leaf clovers sprouted up around St. Patrick's Day (ummm...beer please...NOT sugar coated sugar puffs), and even red, white, and blue marshmallow flags taunt me as I walk around during the 4th of July. The point is: you have taken something that I only had to deal with ONCE a year and now...I have to look at these horrors pretty much all year long.
Enough is enough.
Stop it. Just stop it. Please, bring back boxes of Mike and Ike candies. Stop messing with the delicious memories of these candies by adding every stupid flavor you come up with. (lemonade blends should be liquid...not gummy enough to get stuck in your teeth for hours of enjoyment) Make sure that IF you decide to have some flavor other than the classics...you call them something else entirely. Something like Jolly Joes or Snapple Fruities or something equally ridiculous. Just stop messing with my candy.
And stop making peeps.
Sincerely,
~t
2 comments:
Hey, now don't be dissin' the peeps. Sugar coated marshmallows? Mmmmmmmm. (And plus, they are fun to expand in the microwave). But I do think they should just stick with chicks at Easter, no peeps on other holidays.
And I agree.....bring back the boxes!! We should start a petition!
PS.
Mike and Ike also used to come a variety called "Cherry and Bub". Pink packaging, two distant Southern cousins of mike and ike. CHERRY AND FREAKIN BUBBLE GUM FLAVOR...YESSSSSS.
The only two flavors you need, in my opinion. Perhaps C&B have been outsourced?
Hence, we not only see packaging evolutions and diversity for diversity's sake, with no real improvement to the original M&I, we also see the total extermination of my favorite members of the fruity, named candy family.
I stand with you, Toddrick, say the word and I will launch and armed rebellion in the name of confectioneer integrity.
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